is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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