I should be sponsored by Trojan
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
