didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
