i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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