so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
