Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize