If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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