i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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