And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
