Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
