How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
