Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
