You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
false alarm. still invincible.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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