After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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