I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The power of my boobs compel you
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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