I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
