Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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