He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize