I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
