Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
