I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Randomize
