remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Randomize
