How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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