he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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