its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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