belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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