none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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