What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
