So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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