He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
