Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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