You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize