Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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