i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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