How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
