I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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