Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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