Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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