I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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