is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
