just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
they're like a gay fantastic four
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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