Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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