she was so not down for the gang bang
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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