But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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