hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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