she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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