You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
