Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
