why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
