just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
you told grandpa to call you daddy
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
