She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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