my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
