I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize