I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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