This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
