If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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