So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
