At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
