I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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